linkinxero's Diaryland Diary

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Ahhhhhhhh!!!

Hearing "Gravity" by Audiovent

I am tired, hungry, and frustrated. I have the urge to just curse out the next person who attempts to start up a conversation with me. I have so many projects due Wednesday that I haven't even begun to work on. At this point, I am so fed up I don't want to do anything, but sit here and be pissed. It's a much easier task.

Yesterday, I spent most of the day researching Kurt Cobain's death, as it is the subject of my argument essay (I am arguing that it was a murder). Last night I stayed up until 3AM trying to write whatever would fill up two pages so I'd have something to show for a rough draft. We did peer editing...how exciting. Of course, the person obviously does not like my style. "Too wordy," she says. I can't help that I write like a whiney poet. I have an unending infatuation with adjectives, commas, and long sentences. My professors do not seem to have that big of an issue. There were so many marks that she basically re-wrote the thing for me. I decided to rip it up. It was no longer my work anyway.

I could tell that I was being ignored in drawing class. I know when it comes to classrooms I have this hot/cold, quiet weirdo vibe, but that doesn't mean I don't deserve as much attention as given to everyone else. It just makes me angry when I am cut off, or looked down upon for having an opinion. The one day I decide to give in to the pressure and speak a word, no one gives a shit. "We want to hear what you have to say." Sure.

If I get asked, "Are you sick?" one more time I am really going to explode. Just because I don’t feel like talking, choose to take a nap, do my homework rather than watch a movie, or go places with new people for long periods of time without telling you does not mean I am physically ill. I don't feel I should have to tell you what I do every day. What I do is my business. I don't even know why I opened up to you about my problem because you don't understand at all.

Everyone, stay out of my fucking way tonight.

8:43 pm - December 06, 2004

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