linkinxero's Diaryland Diary

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Apathy

Hearing nothing

I feel like I'm stuck in this depressive rut again. It's like freshman year of high school all over again. The feeling hovers in the back of my mind, growing slowly, until I get around to my birthday...then I'm almost fully consumed. There's this battle between my mind and emotions that's always left in a tie....which leaves me apathetic and empty. Sometimes, I wake up in the morning, stare at my clock, and think of things...terrible, morbid things. I just want to bury my head deep within my pillow, until I can no longer breathe. Conversation drains me. I feel like I'm too close to the new people in my life and I want to disconnect myself. I hate this feeling. I hate myself. I hate this day. And I hate this entry. I have to find my enthusiasm again for the concert.

11:07 am - November 17, 2004

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