linkinxero's Diaryland Diary

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Colle...I can't even type it anymore.

I'm SO stressed out I want to just lock myself up and scream. Just when I'm getting all siked about my first day of college quickly approaching I get some news that slaps the faint smile from my face. I would refer to it as a "kick in the nads", but since I don't have the equipment it doesn't seem appropriate. Anyway, I got my dorm assignment today that revealed a single room. Room 237 all to myself *sigh*, but before I could decide what I was going to do with the extra bed I noticed the small print "room and board payments must made no later than the day before fall 2004 classes begin...payment must be received in full even if financial assistance is not available at the time of payment". Then I see my payment total for the fall at the top of the hideous yellow page reading $3111, accented by blue ink and White Out. I mean I knew I was about $2000 short but I thought that was going to be a spring semester problem. I mean I will have some extra cash in the spring rounds of financial aid, after my tuition cost goes down in January (I will be considered a resident), and I figured that I could use that toward the room. Then I thought they would just bill me for the rest and hold my transcript until I paid up the rest during the summer. But I was wrong, dead wrong. I knew I should have never checked the "single room" box on that form, but this was before I found out financial aid wasn't going to cover everything.

So I immediately call the Housing office to see about a payment plan and they tell me I have to wait until the day of registration, which is only 9 days away. I honestly couldn't wait that long. I continue freaking out and ask if I can change my room assignment.

Me: Can I get a roomate?
Lady: Yes, but..
Me: I'll be there in 5 minutes.

I got there and we worked my payment down to $2000, but of course, how the hell could I get that in 9 days? Then I asked about an installment plan. She plays around with her calculator for 20 minutes and comes up with $435 a month for 3 months, but I have to pay $900 down at registration. I wanted to pull my hair out but I reluctantly excepted it. I had no choice. Now how the hell am I going to get that? I cried to my Daddy (that's what I call him when I want cash, otherwise he's just The Asshole). He starts cursing, but says he has $1000 intended for his lawyer (he has a pending court date with my mother for child support) and that if he has to...he'll give it to me.

This still doesn't make me comfortable. I don't know if he's telling the truth and I don't have anymore options. College is looking like more of a blur everyday. I wonder if it will even be a small whisper in my mind by Monday.

3:52 am - August 7, 2004

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